Unspeakable Things by Laurie Penny

Author:Laurie Penny
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2014-05-23T04:00:00+00:00

SINGLE MUMS AND SCAPEGOATS

Alongside sex workers, the most hated character in the shadow-play of modern sexual prejudice is the single mother.21 The millions of women raising children without a co-parent are spoken of in the same terms as beggars and thieves: they are a drain on the state, the scourge of hard-working taxpayers who must forfeit the proceeds of ‘real’ work to pay for the maintenance of these ‘broken homes’. The charity Gingerbread estimates that nine in ten single parents are mothers;22 many of these mothers are not raising children alone by choice, but because their primary relationships have ended or broken down, and it is significant that single mothers often feel obliged to insist, before asking for the means of survival, that they did at least try to be good. They tried to be good wives, to keep a family together. Single fathers, by contrast, are lauded as heroes, gamely raising children without the help of the wicked women who have abandoned their natural role.

In the single mother, contemporary slut-shaming and class prejudice find their perfect scapegoat. The term ‘fallen woman’ is now considered archaic, but the mythology persists: women bring shame on themselves by lapsing from the pedestal of perfect neoliberal womanhood, the walking CV in stilettos who juggles the husband, child and corporate job with effortless ease.

Single mothers are not just sluts, they’re bad entrepreneurs, lazy workers, dissident subjects who have failed to supply the demands of capitalist patriarchy and now demand that the rest of us pay for it. In the United States, there is no male equivalent for the term ‘welfare queen’. Having a child alone and asking for support with raising that child – from her community, her family or the state – is considered uniquely selfish.

The logic of neoliberal gender politics insists that no woman is poor or struggling because of structural inequality, but because of her own choices. The single mother, like the prostitute, must have made bad choices, or shameful, dirty choices, that have left her destitute. She is unworthy of sympathy, much less assistance. She has failed to deploy her erotic capital wisely. Her child is a permanent reminder of those poor choices. The slut-shaming and social punishment of single mothers and their children gives the lie to modern ideas of sexual liberation – much less of reproductive freedom.

But it’s not just single mothers who are shamed for daring to spawn: motherhood itself is now tacitly considered a selfish, dirty choice, a species of reproductive incontinence.

Girls who wish or are expected to attain social mobility are encouraged to delay childbearing. Campaigners against teenage pregnancy remind young women in no uncertain terms that having a child before they’ve staked out a metaphorical spot in the corner office will ‘ruin your life’ – one is never supposed to question why. Having children is something poor girls do, something foolish girls do: as evidence, we are reminded that poverty is a strong predictor of teenage pregnancy. Once you start breeding, it’s game over, girl.

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